Soul Contracts 101

What they are and how they work

Jocelyn Joy Thomas
3 min readMay 14, 2021
Photo by Pierre Bamin on Unsplash

Soul contracts shape much of our life experiences. We share a soul contract with many of the people we know. The more we know about these important contracts the better our chances of learning the lessons that the contracts are meant to teach us.

What is a soul contract?

A soul contract is an agreement made between two souls before incarnating. In between lives, we plan for our next life; we choose our life purpose and life lessons. To help us with those goals we choose people, our parents, friends, colleagues, and significant others will typically share a soul contract with us. The purpose of the soul contract is to help each other reach our soul’s goals.

Signs you have a soul contract with someone

Drawn to one another- You don’t know what it is but this person stands out and you feel compelled to get closer to them.

Familiarity- Due to the very likely event that you have shared past lifetimes, this person is often very familiar. It’s as if you have met them before but you can’t quite recall how or where. There can also be a strange sense of deja-vu when you are around them initially.

Strong Emotions- Either negative or positive, when you share a soul contract with someone, emotions tend to run high. The reason is your soul wants you to pay attention and learn the lessons that the two of you have agreed to learn. You will feel as if this person knows you a little too well. In the negative sense, they might really know how to push your buttons. In a positive sense, they may really know how to get into your heart and stay there.

They Challenge You- No matter what type of connection the people you share a soul contract with will bring a challenge. They will push you out of your comfort zone in some way. What you might not realize is that your behavior equally pushes the other person as well, these lessons are mutual, you are both learning from one another.

How to complete a soul contract

Learn the lessons, if you don’t the lessons will repeat. If you seem to be meeting the same type of romantic partner, again and again, there is a lesson you are missing. You might break up and get back together with someone, or you can’t get them out of your head. This is due to unfinished soul contract lessons. There is still work to do, but it doesn’t mean you must get back together. It means that you should take some time to reflect on what lessons the relationship brought up for you. Did you need a lesson on maintaining boundaries? Maybe that person walked all over yours? Did you need to learn the lesson of forgiveness, or tolerance? Whatever it was, once you truly learn the lesson the contract will be over.

Can you break a soul contract?

Yes, but the best way to end a contract with someone is to learn the lessons of the contract. That is what your soul intended. The soul is interested in completing the lessons it sets out to learn. Having said that, breaking a contract can be done, you have free will and the right to break any contract. You can do so by asking your guides to help you, making a statement to the universe, or by writing the person’s name down and that you want to break any soul contracts you hold together.

Through lessons, the soul comes here to experience, whether they are related to your life purpose, life lessons, or soul contract lessons. To help that along, take time to reflect. Take stock on what your relationship with anyone significant in your life has meant to you, what they have taught you, how you changed as a result of knowing them. This is how you come to know the lessons you learned from them, or what you still need to learn. There is no right or wrong, just go about it as best as you can. Soul contracts can be carried over for future lives if needed. The people you meet in this lifetime are your teachers, just as you are theirs, always remember this.



Jocelyn Joy Thomas

Author, spiritual teacher, and intuitive reader. Writing is my passion and purpose. My shop...